Have you ever seen something a thousand times without ever actually seeing it?
This morning I was walking to the trail by my house when I saw a tree, truly saw it, for what felt like the first time even though I had seen it so many times before. The trunk was twisted, wrinkled, with moss patterned like age spots, and shot off into what looked like a witch’s fingers pinching together to grasp a secret from the universe.
How many times had I missed that beauty before?
Therapy gives you a chance to reflect on your life and see patterns you’ve engaged in a thousand times, people you’ve known for thousands of days, feelings you’ve had a thousand times, but see them in a totally new way. In most cases, it is seeing things in a more real and honest sense, looking at all the parts of the situation/person/feeling/etc instead of the small part you had been focusing on. You notice the intricacies of the situation that can lead to more empathy, understanding, clarity, and direction. This perspective shift can put new meaning into hard experiences, and create resiliency and growth.
So much of what makes life helpful or harmful is the story we choose to tell ourselves. Therapy can help us see the full story. Our therapists may point out details that we miss, or we may notice details on our own in the telling of that story. As we shift and see the story for what it is, often the shame, blame, guilt, and hopelessness we put on things shifts and turns to something new.